From Kaylee's Birthmother ----
I was asked by Tim & Kaitlyn - Kaylee's adoptive parents - to write a letter to potential birth mothers for their website. I was very excited about this idea when it was presented to me. When I was pregnant with Kaylee, I would spend hours searching the internet for women like me. There were some resources out there for birth mothers but I was surprised by how little.
Every woman's experience and situation is different. But for me, I knew almost right away that placing Kaylee for adoption was the best option. I was already a single mother to a 5 year old little girl, McKennah. The complications of being a single mother are countless for myself and my daughter. Her biological father left me while I was pregnant even though he promised to be there emotionally and financially for our daughter. His promises to this day have yet to be fulfilled. From the beginning, I've raised her on my own with the gracious help of family and friends. Being a single mother is one of the hardest things I have ever done - and am still doing! I wish I could bear the burden of single motherhood on my own but not having a father in my oldest daughter's life affects her now and will continue to affect her for the rest of her life. She encounters many situations that would have been avoided if she hadn't come from a "broken home". I knew that the best gift I could give Kaylee was a mother AND a father.
After deciding to place Kaylee for adoption, the next step was to choose a family for her. The idea of choosing a family who would take my place in raising her day to day was overwhelming. I wanted and needed to know that she was going to a family who would love her as much as I would. Prior to looking at profiles, I already had an idea of what I was looking for in a couple. I wanted a couple who didn't have a lot of stipulations on my personal health/background or possible health problems for the baby. I also wanted a family who was open to what I wanted as far as the openness of the adoption. Couples that lived in a different town from me but still located in same state was also a plus. Once I had my mental list of what I was looking for, I searched the family's profiles on the LDS Family Services website. There was only a handful that met all of my "requirements". I browsed through the profiles and Tim and Kaitlyn's profile stood out to me. I am not particularly religious but I had a gut feeling that this was the family I was looking for. From there, Tim, Kaitlyn and I exchanged emails getting to know one another. A little while later, we arranged to meet. We decided to go to breakfast and visit. The idea was that we would meet, chat and I would call them later with my answer. I had also told myself that I should meet at least one other couple to keep my mind open. By the end of breakfast, I leaned toward my mother and told her that they were the ones. She asked if I was going to tell them now or wait and once again - I just knew that now was the time and they were the ones to be Kaylee's parents. I told them that I was choosing them to be the parents of my baby. After telling them, an enormous weight had been lifted from my shoulders.
The next several months flew by. I had a lot of other decisions to make: a birth plan, the openness of the adoption, etc. I also spent a lot of my time thinking about and planning a placement ceremony. I wanted to do something special for Kaylee and I am happy I did. The placement ceremony took place 3 days after I had Kaylee. Most of that time was spent in the hospital room, just her and I. I felt like I needed that time to bond with her, however, I also knew that I couldn't take her home or I would change my mind. I insisted that the adoption paperwork was signed prior to my special ceremony. Adoption papers can be stressful and details are important. I didn't want paperwork to ruin the ceremony's reverent feel. I recruited a family friend to come be a photographer for the ceremony. Close friends and family met in a small chapel inside the local hospital. I wrote a letter to Kaylee and read it aloud to everyone. It was important to me to verbally express all the love I had for her since I wouldn't be able to show her that love on a daily basis. I gave the letter I wrote to Kaylee's adoptive parents for her to have when she gets older. I also presented her with a bracelet; just something to remember me by. A song was also dedicated to her, "I will always love you" by Whitney Houston. When I miss Kaylee, I play that song and it helps me remember that day of the placement ceremony and all the reasons why I chose this path for us. Tim and Kaitlyn also surprised McKennah and I with gifts to remember Kaylee. After the placement ceremony, I left feeling content. I said what I needed to say. I did what I needed to do. And I left the hospital and some of the hard memories there, in the past where they need to stay, and took the good memories with me.
I once heard a quote that will stay with me forever. "If I loved this baby any less, I wouldn't be able to do this."
-Jessika
*Jessika would love to be a resource for those who are considering placing a child for adoption. If you have questions feel free to contact Jessika by filling out the form below.
I was asked by Tim & Kaitlyn - Kaylee's adoptive parents - to write a letter to potential birth mothers for their website. I was very excited about this idea when it was presented to me. When I was pregnant with Kaylee, I would spend hours searching the internet for women like me. There were some resources out there for birth mothers but I was surprised by how little.
Every woman's experience and situation is different. But for me, I knew almost right away that placing Kaylee for adoption was the best option. I was already a single mother to a 5 year old little girl, McKennah. The complications of being a single mother are countless for myself and my daughter. Her biological father left me while I was pregnant even though he promised to be there emotionally and financially for our daughter. His promises to this day have yet to be fulfilled. From the beginning, I've raised her on my own with the gracious help of family and friends. Being a single mother is one of the hardest things I have ever done - and am still doing! I wish I could bear the burden of single motherhood on my own but not having a father in my oldest daughter's life affects her now and will continue to affect her for the rest of her life. She encounters many situations that would have been avoided if she hadn't come from a "broken home". I knew that the best gift I could give Kaylee was a mother AND a father.
After deciding to place Kaylee for adoption, the next step was to choose a family for her. The idea of choosing a family who would take my place in raising her day to day was overwhelming. I wanted and needed to know that she was going to a family who would love her as much as I would. Prior to looking at profiles, I already had an idea of what I was looking for in a couple. I wanted a couple who didn't have a lot of stipulations on my personal health/background or possible health problems for the baby. I also wanted a family who was open to what I wanted as far as the openness of the adoption. Couples that lived in a different town from me but still located in same state was also a plus. Once I had my mental list of what I was looking for, I searched the family's profiles on the LDS Family Services website. There was only a handful that met all of my "requirements". I browsed through the profiles and Tim and Kaitlyn's profile stood out to me. I am not particularly religious but I had a gut feeling that this was the family I was looking for. From there, Tim, Kaitlyn and I exchanged emails getting to know one another. A little while later, we arranged to meet. We decided to go to breakfast and visit. The idea was that we would meet, chat and I would call them later with my answer. I had also told myself that I should meet at least one other couple to keep my mind open. By the end of breakfast, I leaned toward my mother and told her that they were the ones. She asked if I was going to tell them now or wait and once again - I just knew that now was the time and they were the ones to be Kaylee's parents. I told them that I was choosing them to be the parents of my baby. After telling them, an enormous weight had been lifted from my shoulders.
The next several months flew by. I had a lot of other decisions to make: a birth plan, the openness of the adoption, etc. I also spent a lot of my time thinking about and planning a placement ceremony. I wanted to do something special for Kaylee and I am happy I did. The placement ceremony took place 3 days after I had Kaylee. Most of that time was spent in the hospital room, just her and I. I felt like I needed that time to bond with her, however, I also knew that I couldn't take her home or I would change my mind. I insisted that the adoption paperwork was signed prior to my special ceremony. Adoption papers can be stressful and details are important. I didn't want paperwork to ruin the ceremony's reverent feel. I recruited a family friend to come be a photographer for the ceremony. Close friends and family met in a small chapel inside the local hospital. I wrote a letter to Kaylee and read it aloud to everyone. It was important to me to verbally express all the love I had for her since I wouldn't be able to show her that love on a daily basis. I gave the letter I wrote to Kaylee's adoptive parents for her to have when she gets older. I also presented her with a bracelet; just something to remember me by. A song was also dedicated to her, "I will always love you" by Whitney Houston. When I miss Kaylee, I play that song and it helps me remember that day of the placement ceremony and all the reasons why I chose this path for us. Tim and Kaitlyn also surprised McKennah and I with gifts to remember Kaylee. After the placement ceremony, I left feeling content. I said what I needed to say. I did what I needed to do. And I left the hospital and some of the hard memories there, in the past where they need to stay, and took the good memories with me.
I once heard a quote that will stay with me forever. "If I loved this baby any less, I wouldn't be able to do this."
-Jessika
*Jessika would love to be a resource for those who are considering placing a child for adoption. If you have questions feel free to contact Jessika by filling out the form below.
Email us: [email protected]
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Follow us on Instagram @timandkaitlynhopetoadopt
Follow us on Facebook: Tim and Kaitlyn Want to Adopt!
Contact Us
